The fairytales lied - and we’re still reeling from the shock!
Just think of all those princess movies that ended after the first kiss.
How we enjoyed the thrill of the chase and the ‘will they or won’t they’ dance.
How we celebrated the promise that two soulmates would live happily ever after!
But the fairytales didn’t tell us the full story...
They didn’t tell us that relationships need work, energy, and attention! They didn’t tell us that when the honeymoon phase wears off, the chemistry changes! They didn’t tell us that relationships could be so triggering and challenging!
No wonder we can end up feeling disappointed.
But here’s the thing...
Regardless of where you are in your relationship, there are practical things you can do right now to make an impact and create happily ever after.
Here are FIVE…
- Spark meaningful conversations
Remember how in the beginning you could stay up talking all night?
Don’t worry; you’re not alone.
It’s not uncommon for conversation to shrivel up over time as you get to know each other better. Things change. Once you’ve asked all the ‘who are you’ questions and you’ve exhausted all your childhood stories, you can run out of things to discuss.
What’s more, life is busy. We have hectic work schedules, and by the end of the day, it can feel more comfortable to switch off in front of Netflix rather than have a heart-to-heart!
The trouble is a lack of conversation in a relationship is a big problem - because conversations spark a deeper connection together.
When we talk, we keep the lines of communication open. In turn, we’re less likely to make incorrect assumptions about each other. Conversation acts as a check-in to see if we’re on the same page; or whether we’re heading off on separate paths. Talking keeps you connected - even as you go about living your individual lives.
That’s why you can have a massive impact on your relationship if you spark meaningful conversation. All you have to do is:
• Get curious about each other.
• Use a tool such as the Intimacy Deck to explore topics you’ve not discussed before.
• Make space to chat together without distractions.
I promise this simple action will bring you closer together.
- Bring 100%
You’ll struggle to create a thriving relationship if you only bring 50% - expecting your partner to make it up to 100%.
You can’t expect magic if you go into a relationship half-heartedly. If you’re only giving 50%, you’re holding back. You’re not giving your all. You’re coming in with the expectation that your partner needs to pick up the slack.
You’ll make a deeper impact on your partner and your relationship if you bring 100%.
You’ll have a better relationship too if you decide to take 100% responsibility for what happens between you both.
Despite what you think, this mindset isn’t about carrying an unfair amount of weight. Instead, it’s about reclaiming your power to create the most incredible relationship possible.
If you’re only 50% in, you’ll never know how good things could be. You’ll always be waiting to see what your partner might do.
But choose to be 100% responsible, and then the results are all up to you. There’s no one to blame or nowhere to put excuses. If you’re 100% responsible, you’re not waiting for your partner to bring out the best in you; instead, you know you’ve got to do that for yourself.
Then the most beautiful thing happens…
If you bring your best, chances are you’ll draw out your partner’s best.
And if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you’ll know you gave it everything; meaning you can walk away with closure knowing that you didn’t squander a beautiful opportunity.
- Make space for date nights
Making time for your relationship is so essential in our busy lives.
When you’ve got housework to take care of, errands to run, and kids to look after, it’s so easy to neglect quality time for each other.
Don’t!
Getting creative around date night is a great way to give to your partner, create beautiful memories together, and keep your relationship alive.
What’s more, it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune either!
Check out what James from the BestSelf Co. Team and his partner decided to do together.
Date Night Challenge with James from Best Self Co on Vimeo.
- Invest in your relationship daily
Monthly date nights are powerful.
They give your relationship an injection of energy and the feel-goods after your quality time together fuels you forwards.
But what about the time in-between?
Whatever we focus on and work on compounds.
And the more actions you take in the right direction, the more you have to compound.
If you want to impact your relationship, think about what you could do every day to strengthen your love. It doesn’t have to be a massive gesture. Instead, you could consider actions such as:
• Bringing your partner coffee in bed
• Telling your partner something you appreciate about them
• Popping a love note into their lunch box
• Sending an “I love you” text message
• A shoulder or foot rub
• Taking care of tasks and errands you know they hate
• Putting away your phone for 100% distraction-free time together
• Running a bubble bath etc.
Getting into a habit of daily relationship ‘work’ can make a profound difference in the closeness you feel for each other.
So set yourself a reminder to do something. Use a habit tracker to make your actions autopilot. Not only will your partner feel more loved, but you’ll enjoy the feeling of knowing your efforts are making a meaningful impact.
- Fill your own cup first
It might surprise you to see that taking care of yourself is on a list of ways to impact on your relationship.
Here’s the thing…
I could easily have put this point first.
You can’t pour from an empty jug. You can’t offer what you don’t have to give.
If you’re always giving and you’re not making time to take care of your own needs, resentment for your partner will soon build. And that can become toxic.
Self-care mustn’t be an afterthought either. It’s a priority. Make quality time in your schedule to do the things you love. PLUS, do them without feeling selfish [because it’s not].
Your self-care time is like putting gas into a car. It’s the fuel that energizes and revitalizes, so you’re in a position to give 100% to your relationship.
You’ll find a ton of self-care ideas as well as tips for scheduling quality time into your schedule HERE.
Which of these will you commit to doing?
Make an impact and deepen your love
Thriving relationships are one of the most rewarding things we get to cultivate.
Moving through life and sharing time with someone you love is THE most beautiful thing.
You deserve to have THE most incredible relationship possible. So use these strategies to make an impact on your partner.
And in the process, enjoy how these shifts make an impact on you too as. That’s the beautiful thing about relationships… they also draw out your best self.
