Guest Post by Sharing the Wander Long road trips with kids include all kinds of challenges, from entertainment to snack foods. But have you considered how to keep your kids emotionally grounded during a long road trip? Keeping kids communicating, appreciative, and with some sort of perspective can be challenging even when you’re not traveling, and only gets harder with the stresses of travel. Road trips often alternate between long stretches of time in the car, which can lead to whining and boredom, and then stretches of intense activity and experience which can be overwhelming for kids to process.  At Sharing the Wander, we’ve spent months in the car with our kids, exploring the United States, from cities to national parks. Here are a few ways we’ve learned to use some of that time to help kids to stay grounded throughout the road trip.  This article may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a reader clicks through and makes a purchase.  All our recommendations are our own, and are in no way influenced by any advertiser or commercial initiative. 1. Journaling Journaling is a powerful way for people of all ages to process their emotions and experiences. A road trip is a great time to start or reinforce this habit with your kids. Even younger kids who aren’t ready for full journal entries may find ways to express themselves through images and labelling those images.  Try purchasing a journal for each kid specifically to document whatever they choose about the trip. It could be a list of stops, a record of their memories, or more personal journal entries. Let children know that journals are private, and they won’t be expected to share if they don’t want to.  For kids who are starting to write, but aren’t sure what to write about, try a book of creative story prompts to help them get started. Another recommendation is The Little Hero’s Journal from BestSelf Co. which is a guided journaling experience that inspires children to cultivate a can-do attitude and a positive mindset. For adults, we recommend the 30-Day Gratitude Journal from BestSelf.  Try setting aside time some time in the car for everyone to quietly focus on journaling or drawing at the same time. If everyone is engaged in the same activity, it can spark some quality family time together.  2. Practice Yoga Yoga is a wonderful tool for grounding kids. All you need is a YouTube account and some floor space! Our girls love to do yoga with Jamie of Cosmic Kids Yoga fame, but there are many choices online, and they are free! While kids are having fun and moving their bodies, they are also learning traditional yoga postures, and getting comfortable with a practice that will be useful to them throughout their lives.  Yoga specifically geared toward kids is usually 10-20 minutes long, and takes kids through postures while listening to a story. There are also programs that include a bit of meditation at the beginning or end as well. Try starting or ending the day with a few minutes of yoga. If you don’t have a great internet connection, even a few minutes of stretching is helpful. 3. Model Flexibility The best way to help kids find (and keep) perspective, is to model it yourself. Kids absorb the energy around them, so when things go wrong, take a deep breath and try to model patience and flexibility. Part of travel is adjusting when things go wrong- whether the restaurant you planned to eat at is closed, you get a flat tire, or the fog rolls in right before you reach sunset point. These smaller set backs are a great way for kids to practice the resilience they will need for bigger challenges they will face in their lives down the road.  4. Little Talk Conversation Cards Little Talk Conversation Cards are a great way to get the whole family talking and sharing. This is also a great time for kids to express how they are feeling, and communicate what they need. You may be surprised to hear their answer to “What do you wish mom and dad did more of?”.  These cards are designed to be accessible and appropriate for all ages. The prompts range from serious and introspective “Tell me about a time when you felt pressured”, to more light-hearted “If you could have superhero powers, what would they be and why?” You’ll laugh at some, others will make you’ll think, and you’ll be surprised what you learn about each other! Kids also learn from emulating adults, so hearing adults tell stories from their past or discuss their own hopes and dreams can be powerful. These cards are also great to use at meal times, or during long drives.  5. Exercise Exercise is a really important part of keeping kids grounded and centered. Try to incorporate exercise of some kind into your daily schedule. On a long drive day, that may mean stopping for a picnic lunch with some time at a playground afterwards. We have also run races in a small green area at a rest stop. In a big city, that may mean walking around town, or playing at the beach.  Whatever form it takes, a little exercise helps kids reestablish balance. After exercise, you’ll find kids are better able to handle the challenges of the world around them. 6. Writing Postcards to Friends and Family Separation from friends and family can be one of the hardest parts of traveling for kids. One of the best ways to mitigate this, is by writing postcards to send to loved ones. Talk about how it feels to receive a postcard (and how rare that is these days)! Postcards are a great way for kids to put feelings onto paper, without feeling intimidated about filling a whole letter, and then send a little love in the mail. 7. Daily “Best and Worst” One of our favorite ways to end the day is with a round of “Best and Worst”. We take turns going around the table at dinner and each person shares one thing that was “the worst” about the day, and one thing that was “the best”. This is a great tool for listening to each other, and seeing the day from someone else’s perspective.  If you had a great day, it’s ok to not have a “worst”, but everyone must have a “best”, as there is always some good - in even a lousy day. As a bonus, we also add a category “What I’m Looking Forward to”, which can be about the next day, or many days into the future. Feel free to make rules or categories that make sense for your family.  There You Have it! These are 7 great ways to help your kids stay grounded on a long road trip. From exercise to practicing gratitude, these simple exercises will help your kids find their balance. What’s your favorite way to work on perspective and gratitude with kids?  Planning a road trip with kids? Don’t miss our post A Road Trip with Kids and Toddlers: 20+ Tips to Survive and Thrive.

If you want to create a deeply connected, long-lasting partnership, this advice can feel counter-intuitive. How can putting yourself first be the key to a thriving relationship?  Here’s the thing... We’ve been conditioned to believe that putting ourselves first is ‘selfish’. As a result, it’s not uncommon for people to have a tendency to put others’ needs ahead of their own. We’ve been told that this behavior makes us kind, loving, and giving.  However, giving is just one side of the coin. If we give to the point of not allowing ourselves to receive the things we care about, we can become resentful, bitter, and even unhappy - none of which leads to a thriving relationship.  Turns out that putting your needs first is crucial for having balance in your life and in your relationships. If you don’t, you’ll run into burnout at work, home, and in general - because you’re filling from an empty cup. Prioritizing your needs doesn’t mean you’re in total disregard for others’ feelings and needs! It means you’re putting your oxygen mask on first— so you are better equipped to help others. But how do you do this in practice?  This article contains five proven strategies you can try today...  1. Cultivate self-awareness. Self-awareness is the first step. Being aware of your needs is crucial. Knowing your needs allows you to operate at your highest potential. Allowing you to live a happier, more fulfilled life.  Once you’ve clearly established your needs you can begin to set boundaries and balance your life accordingly. Consistently denying your own needs or putting them last is self-betrayal. When you betray yourself you end up unhappy. And often wondering why. This concept might seem foreign to you. Many people glorify self-sacrifice. But the truth is, you cannot give your greatest without putting yourself first. Need help discovering what matters most to you? Check out the Self-Discovery Deck. It includes 50 thought-provoking questions that guide you to be more self-aware, explore who you are, and what you want in life. 2. Make your needs a priority to prevent resentment. When your needs are consistently last on the list, resentment builds. If you’re continually putting your partner’s needs before your own, you begin to resent your partner. You start to see your partner as a source of stress. You begin to see them as the reason your needs are coming in second. The tricky thing is, your partner might not be aware this is happening. Or, your partner might be doing it unintentionally. Essentially you start to resent them for something you are responsible for. Which is your own needs. It’s important for both of you to be doing regular self-evaluations. Notice what’s getting the most time and attention in your life. Set the precedent from the start regarding your needs. Doing this helps avoid slipping into that space of resentment. Once you start to see your partner as a source of this feeling, it can be difficult to navigate out of this space. The Relationships Journals contain plenty of practice designed to spark the insight and conversations that ensure your relationship thrives. Discover more here.  3. Prioritize self-care. Fill your own cup. When you give too much of yourself, you start to feel depleted. Self-care is crucial for everyone. If you haven’t fulfilled your own needs, it makes it that much harder to fulfill the needs of someone else. There is nothing left to give. Self-care doesn’t have to be luxurious (but can be if you’d like). There are so many ways to schedule self-care into your daily schedule.  Trust us when we say don’t skip it. You can schedule 30 minutes of alone time right when you wake up or start implementing healthy sleep habits. Write it down and don’t allow yourself to skip it. Build upon the habit and it will get easier. Spending quality time on self-care isn’t something you only do occasionally. It’s critical for your well-being. It is essential for being your best self. When your own cup is full you give from your overflow. Trying to do otherwise leads you to feel depleted, resentful, or unmotivated— and this can have a detrimental impact on the quality of your relationships. 4. Give 100% Relationships thrive when both parties are giving 100%. Sometimes when life’s hardships come down on us, one partner might need to step in and give more. Generally speaking, when both parties are all in at 100—you experience the most out of your partnership. When you have filled your own cup to 100%—you are able to give. You can fill from your overflow and not deplete yourself. This ‘selfishness’ allows you to be a better partner. You simply cannot give what you don’t have. Both parties need to be consistently filling their own cups. And yes, it does require some work.  It’s not 50/50. A loving partnership that lasts requires both people at 100. 5. Cut the risk of codependency. Codependency is a space you fall into when you don’t put yourself first. Co-dependency can be relying on your partner for your entire source of happiness. Or where you derive your sole purpose from your connection together.  Codependency wears a lot of hats. It can look like the need to do everything together. Or determining your entire mood for the day based on your partner’s mood. Emotions will waver from one minute to the next. We’re responsible for regulating our own feelings, but taking on our partner’s is a form of co-dependency. This can make it hard for you to regulate your own emotions while you are taking on someone else’s Codependency can also be considered a one-sided relationship. One partner may give more of themselves or take on a certain role. This role can resemble a care-taker like a nurse or a parent. This partner believes their value is found in fulfilling this role. The co-dependant may become resentful when they feel their efforts are not matched. Co-dependents often fall upset when the other person fails to reciprocate their same level of effort. Even if their partner didn’t ask them to take on the extra work. They also can become addicted to being in a relationship— and will stop at nothing in order to stay in one. Falling into the role of a co-dependant has many unfavorable results. The person who betrays themselves for the needs of their partner will never feel fulfilled. The best way to avoid becoming codependent is to have a strong sense of self. Practicing putting yourself first gets easier over time. It is the best way to avoid slipping into a co-dependent state. Have your own sets of activities, desires, and a sense of who you are outside your partner. This cultivates a healthy sense of self. Being able to come to the table of life fully and authentically. You owe it to yourself to have moments of total separateness from your partner. This way your relationship is not your only source of happiness. Yet in turn, this makes your relationship even stronger. Putting yourself first enhances your relationship. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. It enables you to be a better partner. Filling your cup should be a priority in your life regardless of your relationship status. But when you are completely filled from within, you have the capacity to give to your partner. Operating at full capacity will make it easier to provide your partner with the best version of you. And when you are both showing up as your best self— you have better relationships.     Relationship Journals - For relationships that work If you want to invest in the kind of relationship ‘work’ that deepens your connection and inspires partnership, the Relationship Journals are for you. This 13-week, guided journey is designed to be taken with your partner. Each week is themed. Self-discovery activities open up conversations that lead to a deeper sense of appreciation, understanding, and ultimately love.  In a busy, hyper-distracted world, it’s easy to get caught in the superficial and surface-level.  The relationship Journals help you cultivate a level of depth, understanding, and togetherness that can help you co-create the relationship you always wanted.  Start your journey today when you buy your two-pack of journals here. 

Did you know that questions help level up your life? How, you ask? Read on!

When was the last time you intentionally showed your partner how much you appreciate them?  It’s not a trick question!  But the reality is we can take our partner for granted - and it’s not your fault. Life does get busy and chaotic. When you have a million and one things to take care of, you can become so tunnel-visioned you forget to appreciate what’s right in front of your eyes! But showing your partner appreciation is vital to any relationship. And you don’t need an anniversary or specific dates on the calendar to do it. There are ways to show appreciation for your partner every day.  Keep reading to discover ten ideas now…  1. Notice the little things A deep human need is to be seen and heard for who we really are. There’s something about being fully seen that makes you feel fully loved.  You can give this gift to your partner by noticing the little things.  For example, make a mental note of the things that interest your partner. Make it a habit to notice the little things they bring up casually. It could be a side comment about their favorite flower— or a favorite artist they’ve mentioned a few times. Keeping these in mind seems insignificant in the big scheme of things, but your partner will love that you noticed and remembered.  2. Talk in your partner’s love language Knowing your partner is one thing, but knowing how to love them is even more critical. According to Dr Gary Chapman, the five love languages are: 1. Words of affirmation 2. Gifts 3. Quality time 4. Acts of service 5. Physical touch When you know which language or language(s) your partner prefers— you can love your partner in the way that they can receive it.  Say your partner’s first language is physical touch. You can demonstrate your love by hugging them when they come home, holding their hand when you’re on a walk, or snuggling together on the sofa while watching Netflix.  Maybe your partner prefers words of affirmation. If so, write love letters, send text messages, or leave handwritten notes. Use words to tell them how much you appreciate them. If your preferred love languages are different from your partner’s— that’s okay too! Expand your ideas. Think of ways outside the box to show your appreciation now that you have this knowledge. 3. Give them your full attention Giving someone your undivided attention is a potent way to show your appreciation. When you put down the distractions and commit to uninterrupted time with someone, you open the door for more meaningful connections. When was the last time your partner received your full attention?  Unfortunately, our modern lives don’t always set us up for this. There are countless ways we get distracted. It's harder than ever to devote your attention to one thing. For example, there’s always a device nearby or other people who need us. Maybe you have children and your time together is limited. Perhaps your schedules are difficult to align. Set an intention to schedule quality, uninterrupted, quiet time together. When you show your partner “there’s nothing more important than you at this moment”, your love can grow.  4. Remember important dates When you remember important dates, you signal to your partner that these things are important to you too. What’s more, these milestones are great opportunities to celebrate your life together.  For example, mark your first date or first kiss as well as your anniversaries and birthdays.  You don’t need to call in all the party tricks (but you can if you want!). Even sending a text while your partner is in the middle of work is a meaningful gesture. Something like “Today is the day we met. I am so thankful you are in my life” can mean so much. 5. Compliment them in private & public Who doesn’t love to receive compliments? Feeling seen for who you are and what you’ve done feels great - and this is a feeling you can give to your partner over and over.  For example, if your partner got a big promotion at work, tell them they’re a badass. If they’re the absolute best at folding shirts? Let them know! Are they rocking those jeans better than anyone else possibly could? Tell them. And don’t reserve your compliments for private moments alone. When you can praise your partner in public, you tell other people that you’re proud of who you’re with. There’s no need to make a big flashy announcement. You could tell friends at dinner how much you appreciate the way your partner supports you - or tell your kids how much you appreciate their mom/dad.   When you celebrate your partner out loud, they’ll feel seen, loved, appreciated, and proud. We promise you'll get plenty of smiles out of this one. 6. Get creative with your gratitude There are so many ways to express gratitude from sneaking little notes in their work bag to picking up flowers on your way home. Random acts of gratitude let your partner know you were thinking of them throughout your day. You don’t have to wait until there’s a disagreement to show gratitude, either. It’s important to do it frequently. And remember those little things about your partner we told you to remember? You can now use that knowledge to get creative with gratitude. Whether it be little gifts— or surprising them with concert tickets, showing gratitude goes a long way. 7. Acknowledge the things you’d usually take for granted Maybe your partner’s ‘job’ is to take out the bin, pick up the groceries, or make the kids’ lunches. Sharing in chores to make the home run smoothly makes everybody’s life easier. Better still, when everyone takes on their fair share of tasks, it frees up more quality time to spend together.  But when ‘work’ is taken for granted, we run into the realm of expectations - and that doesn’t feel so good.  You don’t have to be gushing with your appreciation for the everyday chores - after all, someone has to take care of these tasks! But thanking your partner for the things they do makes them feel seen instead of taken for granted.  Better still, if they know it’s a job you hate, they get to enjoy knowing they made you happy as well as checking something off the shared to-do list.  8. Support your partner’s passions and dreams Is there something your partner loves to do? Maybe they’re obsessed with football or skiing. Perhaps they love to trek into the mountains with buddies or invest in groups and programs to develop themselves.  Maybe they have big plans for travelling the world or dreams of living by the sea.  While it’s fun to have things in common, you don’t need to do everything together. It’s OK to have interests that mean you spend time apart. Your ‘things’ can strengthen your relationship - because you have more experiences to talk about when you are together.  Allowing space for your partner’s passions can bring you closer together.  After all, why should you give up part of who you are to be with someone you love?  9. Make your partner feel important There’s something magical about the beginning of a relationship. You only have time for each other - nothing else in the world feels anywhere near as important as your new love.  They’re the only thing you think about and the only person you want to spend time with!  Over time, you find a new rhythm - and other areas of your life grow in importance. This doesn’t mean you love your partner any less… chances are you love them even more, but they’re no longer your sole focus of attention. The good news is you can tap back into those early-stage vibes.  Taking a moment to make your partner feel like the most crucial thing in your life can add a beautiful spark into your relationship. Simply push everything else to one side and focus fully on them. It’s an act of appreciation that can deepen your love. 10. Make gratitude a habit  Life gets busy, meaning it’s easy to get distracted or overwhelmed to the point where you take your partner for granted.  One way to keep the gratitude alive in your relationship is to build a habit of appreciation.  This can be as simple as setting a reminder on your phone to send a message at lunchtime or making it a routine to share daily gratitudes over a coffee after work.  The Partner Appreciation Notes can help with this too. This 2-pack of pocket-sized notebooks contains space for 20 weeks of daily gratitude for your partner. Simply write down something you like about your partner to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. And with new prompts each week, you’ll never be at a loss of things to write about!  Best of all, after 20 weeks, you can gift your completed notebook to your partner. Imagine how they’ll feel when they get to read 20 weeks worth of love notes and appreciations about them :-)    When gratitude becomes a habit, it becomes a part of who you are. And because gratitude trains your brain to see the good in your partner, not only will your love for each other grow, but you’ll find yourself feeling more optimistic and positive about life in general.  What can you appreciate about your partner today?  From big gestures to small, acts of appreciation are a powerful way to demonstrate and prove your love for your partner.  When we feel appreciated, we’re more likely to do the relationship work. When we feel valued, our love grows deeper, and our connection grows stronger. When we express our appreciation, our love speaks louder, and everything feels brighter as a result.   Show your partner how much you appreciate them today and every day. It’s a simple, yet powerful pathway to a better relationship.

How do you create a relationship that can last a lifetime? How can you ensure you stay on the same page and continue growing together, while maintaining space for your own desires and dreams?  We’ve all been inspired by those power couples who seem to have it all together and appear to be more deeply in love than ever before! But there’s a lot of ‘work’ that goes on behind the inspiring “goal” photos. There are conversations, compromising, and celebrating differences. There’s evaluating, setting, and adjusting mutual goals. The truth is thriving relationships don't happen by chance. Instead, they're the result of a conscious desire to deepen conversation, connection, and intimacy continually. Relationships take personal effort and joint work to create something beautiful. And one of the most potent ways you can create this experience for yourself is through deliberate discussion and execution of your relationship goals. Here’s how... 1. Communication is the first step. It’s vital to discuss your goals with your partner. It’s easy to assume you’re on the same page - you’re partners after all! However, you also have your own life to lead. As such, what was once important to you [or your partner] may have changed over time.  Dr. Gottman of the Gottman Institute researches the importance of shared meaning. He found that couples who create a sense of shared meaning experience higher levels of connectedness. Having a shared sense of what's important encourages emotional intimacy. [Create deeper levels of connection and communication with the Intimacy Deck.] When discussing your relationship goals, try discussing your dreams and desires in the following categories:  • Health• Finances• Work / career• Relationships• Personal growth• Mindfulness   ...and anything else you choose to focus on! Try writing down your individual goals for each of these categories and then compare notes with your partner to see where you both align. You might be surprised. You might have to compromise. But we cannot emphasize how paramount it is to have these discussions. 2. Dive into the nitty-gritty details. It pays to discuss your goals periodically. This ensures there are no hidden expectations that get swept under the rug for months— or even years. Evaluating your “us” goals can help you navigate how you’d like to move forward. This way, everything is on the table. It’s also crucial to ask timeline questions like “What would you like our relationship to look like in six months? A year? 10 years?” Discussing future goals leaves no room for any unsaid expectations. When expectations come out of nowhere, it can cause your partner to feel caught off guard. They may not know how to help, or why this is suddenly important to you. Or why didn’t you bring up these thoughts earlier?  You might run into an uncomfortable "are we even on the same page" conversation. Not an ideal situation... And nobody wants that. If your goals and values don’t align, it can cause tension and confusion. This tension can cause unnecessary stress, and discussing your desires is a crucial conversation to have with your partner. 3. Set realistic goals and expectations. It’s important to set reasonable goals that make you both excited and invested in your future. This can look like a 10-year plan to own a getaway cabin in the woods (dreams). Or you’re recreating your first date at the same restaurant every year (ritual). There are even couples who start full-blown foundations together (now that’s goals!) Even if your goals aren't on a grand scale yet, you can still create a shared vision! You can start with smaller goals each year and then build up to long-term goals; this will make a big impact on your relationship. It's all about what matters to you personally, together and the life you're hoping to cultivate. Goals that help you grow and all the memories you'll create together. Make the process yours. You will be able to look back and say “look at what we created together”. 4. Don’t put it off! Fantasizing is exciting, but deliberate scheduling and planning are vital in goal-setting as a couple. We know talking big picture stuff can seem overwhelming. But take a deep breath. Break it down into manageable steps. To some people setting goals is a fun thing to do. For others, thinking into the future (especially far into the future) can seem daunting. But there’s an approach that works for every couple. We're going to give you some goals that can go into the calendar right now! Start with something small you can put into place as soon as this week. For example:  • Fancy Dessert and Movie-at-Home Night every Wednesday. • Screen-free time together on Sunday • Play the Date Deck Game or chat through some prompts from the Intimacy Deck.  And just like that- you have scheduled intentional time together. One goal down! It's easy to let your personal goals in life like your career goals get in the way. But including your partner in those goals and creating milestones together is a key component of a successful relationship. You can research all the relationship goal lists the internet has to offer. But aim to curate your goals together with only minimal outside influence. What do you want as a couple?  After you make small exciting goals moving onto the bigger goals might feel easier. The goals that require more steps and planning will feel more attainable after reaching many small goals together. You may have a vision that combines multiple goals into one big goal. For example, renovating a fixer-upper for example. Rehabbing a home requires you to align on many big and small goals. The location, size, finances, style, and personal involvement with repairs to name a few. These big-scale projects can take years of planning and executing to complete. And it's extremely important to be on the same page every step of the way. Open communication is key. Some goals may shift and evolve. But that’s part of the fun of doing it together. It’s like an on-going collaboration with someone you care deeply for. And that’s relationship goals! 5. Enjoy the journey and the destination When you are working towards your goals together, there is twice the power and energy going into them. Twice the power of doing it alone. Not only does this create shared meaning between you and your partner- you can also move toward your desires faster. It’s a win-win. You are both taking steps toward mutual dreams. You are both bringing deliberate, trackable meaning into your relationship. You are creating memories for your future selves to look back on. And perhaps, co-creating your legacies. Have you discussed your relationship goals with your partner? It’s not too late. Start small. Break it down into manageable steps. And most importantly, have fun doing it together! Sources: https://www.gottman.com/blog/enriching-marriage-creating-shared-meaning/ https://www.gottman.com/blog/shared-meaning-is-key-to-a-successful-relationship/

There’s only so far we can go alone.  Magic happens when your dreams connect you with people who love you, support you, and bring out the best in you.  Remember, life grows richer when busyness is balanced out by quality time spent with people who matter to you. In other words, make time for the to-dos and the conversations that matter! Not only will you think bigger and achieve more, but you’ll feel happier too.  Keep reading to discover a collection of practical tips designed to help you build your personal and professional network with authenticity and ease.   Practice active listening  One of our deepest human desires is to be seen and heard for who we really are. Therefore, one of the best ways to build meaningful relationships with others is to invest your attention.  Most people listen to speak instead of listening to understand. It’s a subtle difference that makes all the difference. When you listen to understand, you’re not [impatiently] waiting for a gap in the conversation so that you can jump in. Instead, you lean back and listen with all of your being - not just your ears. This shift in the listening approach allows you to read between the lines so you can get a glimpse at what isn’t being said. You get to spot the body language signals, and you hear the signs in someone’s tone of voice.  Through the practice of active listening, you get below the surface of who someone is and start to see them for who they really are.  And in these moments of deeper knowing, your relationship strengthens and thrives. Be authentic & vulnerable  A lot of people are dancing an awkwardness between belonging and authenticity. On the one hand, we want to fit in and feel accepted [this is old, old coding]. On the other, we’re yearning to take off the mask and show others who we really are.  The question is, which part of you will win?  The more you’re able to strengthen your self-love, the more confidence you’ll unleash to truly show yourself. Sure, this requires vulnerability and courage. You need to be willing to show a little more than what feels comfortable.  But the shift in possibilities if you’re willing to ‘go there’ is profound.  Your vulnerability creates space and permission for others to be vulnerable too. When vulnerability leads, the true self emerges, creating space for deeper connection and stronger relationships. Ask deeper questions  Conversations are lubricants that deepen relationships and bring people closer together.  The trick is to move beyond the superficial, surface-level stuff and really get to know who someone is. Are you brave enough to ask the questions that crack people open and give you a deeper insight into who they really are?  If you only stay with small talk, you’ll only ever talk about the safe, ‘easy’ stuff.  Sure, it can be fun to chat about the game or the latest binge-watch show.  But how much closer can you get if you talk about all the things that lie under the surface? What could be possible in your relationships [both personal and professional] if you talked about your hopes and fears, your values, your life lessons, and triumphs and successes [to name just a few]?  Deep conversation is a catalyst for the meaningful connections that allow us to thrive in all areas of our lives.  It’s why we created the Icebreaker and Deeper Talk Decks!  Practice gratitude What you appreciate, appreciates!  This is where gratitude can inspire your relationships and help you feel more deeply connected to the people in your life.  When you make it a practice to appreciate aspects of the people in your world, you stop taking them for granted. Instead of focusing on the niggles and irritations that people inevitably stir up, you shift our focus to the things that make you smile.  Such as how your partner brings you coffee in bed, or how your co-worker has your back, or how your kids make you feel better when they hug you tight! Proactively appreciating people is a powerful habit to adopt.  It’s a small thing that makes a disproportionate difference to your relationships and ultimately your life.  Make quality time Your calendar or planner provides a powerful insight into what your life really looks like. It’s one thing to say you value your relationships, but does your time allocation back this up?  Meaningful connections require an investment of quality time. We know this in theory, but the practical application is often more difficult. After all, life is busy! It’s why relationships often get the leftovers, because other, more tangible to-dos get prioritized.  One way you can create a better balance is to schedule relationship time on your calendar. For example, diarize that coffee with a potential collaborator. Make a regular commitment to call a friend on a particular day of the week. Commit to a regular date night to keep your closest relationship flourishing.  What gets planned gets done, meaning you’ll soon notice the difference that scheduled relationship time makes. Life is a series of connections You’re right; it does take effort to surround yourself with the right people, but the difference this decision makes to your life is profound.  Decide to be proactive about how you create connections in your life.  It’s a commitment that will make a world of difference.  

Conversations are the catalyst for so much in our relationships - whether that’s at work or home. But how can you make the most of the interactions you have with other people so you can deepen your relationships and build a network that supports you?  These three Cs can help... Curiosity  Next time you have a conversation, take a moment to notice the way you’re listening. For example, are you listening to understand, or are you listening to speak? There’s a big difference. It’s human nature to want to be seen and heard. We like talking about ourselves! But this style of interaction has the potential to erode at the fullness of conversation possible.  When you’re listening to speak, it’s almost impossible to hear what the other person is saying fully. What’s more, because we project our own situations and experiences on to other people, we need to be mindful of the perspective through which we’re hearing another person’s story. Sure, there may be similarities. You may be able to empathize with what the other person is describing. You may think you know exactly how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking.  But do you really?  Curiosity allows you to push aside your assumptions so you can create the space to hear what’s being communicated.  When you set the intention to listen with curiosity, you start to notice the nuances and subtle details that you’d otherwise overlook. In turn, you feel inspired to ask the questions that allow you to explore a little further and go that little bit deeper. You get to ask the questions that help you better understand where a person is coming from.  So next time you sit opposite someone for a chat, be a little more curious. Ask ‘why?’ to deepen your understanding. Bring an open mind and see how it feels to talk with your best friend or partner as if it’s the first time you’ve ever met each other. You’ll likely be surprised at what you discover about each other. Creativity The cousin of curiosity is creativity.  Whereas curiosity unlocks the courage to take your conversations to the next level, creativity inspires you to ask the questions you wouldn’t usually think to ask. In turn, you can unlock new trains of thought entirely and in the process, get to know someone way beyond small talk.  It’s easy to get lazy with conversations. It’s easy to ask the same questions which take you down the same paths, but if we’re not careful, the result is boredom.  What’s more, the longer we know someone, the easier it is to make assumptions and not even bother asking the things that would crack someone open!  Creativity is a great way to make your conversations more adventurous.  Leverage the power of curiosity, and you can unlock parts of someone you’ve never even seen before. For example, you could explore:  • Feelings and emotions• Motivations and drivers• Values and beliefs• Childhood stories and experiences• Hopes and dreams• Learnings and lessons etc.  And if you’re stuck for things to ask, question prompts are a super-easy way to spark a different kind of conversation. So if you’re ready to shake up the chats and catch-ups you have with your friends and family, why not pop an Icebreaker or a Deeper Talk Deck into your toolbox.  Connection  The more connection you can create, the closer you can feel.  The reason we have conversations in the first place is to feel more connected to the people in our world. The feeling of belonging creates a sense of acceptance, and because we’re social beings, this feeling is good for our soul! So how do you create meaningful connections in your friendships and relationships? Here are some techniques to try: Make eye contact. They say that the eyes are the doorway to the soul, and I think there’s some truth in that. Making eye contact indicates to the other person that you’re genuinely listening and that they have your full attention. [There’s nothing worse than being vulnerable to find the person you’re speaking with is distracted]. When you make the other person feel seen and valued, they’re more likely to be open with you - even up their level of vulnerability.Active listening. Conversation is one of the most effective ways to get to know another person. Similar to genuine eye contact, when you demonstrate that you’re truly listening, you’ll hear a lot more. Set the intention to master the three levels of listening and see how your effectiveness in conversations soar. Build rapport through mirroring. Have you noticed that people like people who are like themselves? We instinctively gravitate to people who have similar interests and values to us because likeness makes us feel understood. You can create this feeling of rapport by actively mirroring the body language of the person you’re speaking with. Now, this isn’t a game of Simon Says! That can get awkward, but notice what happens if you match the way they’re sitting or holding their arms. It’s interesting to know that while we can consciously mirror someone else, we also do this instinctively. You’ll likely notice this if you’re people-watching in a café or a restaurant. Watch a little closer, and you’ll see how friends start to match each other!  Conversation is one of the most powerful ways to deepen your relationships with other people.  Best of all, it’s a skill you can sharpen and even master with the right tools and intention. So make it your mission to evoke curiosity, creativity, and connection next time you have a chat with someone. Who knows what’s going to open up as a result.

The fairytales lied - and we’re still reeling from the shock!  Just think of all those princess movies that ended after the first kiss.  How we enjoyed the thrill of the chase and the ‘will they or won’t they’ dance.  How we celebrated the promise that two soulmates would live happily ever after! But the fairytales didn’t tell us the full story... They didn’t tell us that relationships need work, energy, and attention! They didn’t tell us that when the honeymoon phase wears off, the chemistry changes! They didn’t tell us that relationships could be so triggering and challenging!  No wonder we can end up feeling disappointed.  But here’s the thing... Regardless of where you are in your relationship, there are practical things you can do right now to make an impact and create happily ever after.  Here are FIVE… Spark meaningful conversations Remember how in the beginning you could stay up talking all night? Don’t worry; you’re not alone.  It’s not uncommon for conversation to shrivel up over time as you get to know each other better. Things change. Once you’ve asked all the ‘who are you’ questions and you’ve exhausted all your childhood stories, you can run out of things to discuss.  What’s more, life is busy. We have hectic work schedules, and by the end of the day, it can feel more comfortable to switch off in front of Netflix rather than have a heart-to-heart! The trouble is a lack of conversation in a relationship is a big problem - because conversations spark a deeper connection together.  When we talk, we keep the lines of communication open. In turn, we’re less likely to make incorrect assumptions about each other. Conversation acts as a check-in to see if we’re on the same page; or whether we’re heading off on separate paths. Talking keeps you connected - even as you go about living your individual lives. That’s why you can have a massive impact on your relationship if you spark meaningful conversation. All you have to do is:  • Get curious about each other.  • Use a tool such as the Intimacy Deck to explore topics you’ve not discussed before.  • Make space to chat together without distractions.  I promise this simple action will bring you closer together.  Bring 100%  You’ll struggle to create a thriving relationship if you only bring 50% - expecting your partner to make it up to 100%.  You can’t expect magic if you go into a relationship half-heartedly. If you’re only giving 50%, you’re holding back. You’re not giving your all. You’re coming in with the expectation that your partner needs to pick up the slack.  You’ll make a deeper impact on your partner and your relationship if you bring 100%.  You’ll have a better relationship too if you decide to take 100% responsibility for what happens between you both.  Despite what you think, this mindset isn’t about carrying an unfair amount of weight. Instead, it’s about reclaiming your power to create the most incredible relationship possible.  If you’re only 50% in, you’ll never know how good things could be. You’ll always be waiting to see what your partner might do.  But choose to be 100% responsible, and then the results are all up to you. There’s no one to blame or nowhere to put excuses. If you’re 100% responsible, you’re not waiting for your partner to bring out the best in you; instead, you know you’ve got to do that for yourself.  Then the most beautiful thing happens… If you bring your best, chances are you’ll draw out your partner’s best.  And if the relationship doesn't work out, at least you’ll know you gave it everything; meaning you can walk away with closure knowing that you didn’t squander a beautiful opportunity.  Make space for date nights Making time for your relationship is so essential in our busy lives.  When you’ve got housework to take care of, errands to run, and kids to look after, it’s so easy to neglect quality time for each other. Don’t!  Getting creative around date night is a great way to give to your partner, create beautiful memories together, and keep your relationship alive.  What’s more, it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune either!  Check out what James from the BestSelf Co. Team and his partner decided to do together.  Date Night Challenge with James from Best Self Co on Vimeo.   Invest in your relationship daily  Monthly date nights are powerful.  They give your relationship an injection of energy and the feel-goods after your quality time together fuels you forwards.  But what about the time in-between?  Whatever we focus on and work on compounds.  And the more actions you take in the right direction, the more you have to compound.  If you want to impact your relationship, think about what you could do every day to strengthen your love. It doesn’t have to be a massive gesture. Instead, you could consider actions such as:   • Bringing your partner coffee in bed • Telling your partner something you appreciate about them • Popping a love note into their lunch box  • Sending an “I love you” text message  • A shoulder or foot rub • Taking care of tasks and errands you know they hate  • Putting away your phone for 100% distraction-free time together • Running a bubble bath etc.  Getting into a habit of daily relationship ‘work’ can make a profound difference in the closeness you feel for each other.  So set yourself a reminder to do something. Use a habit tracker to make your actions autopilot. Not only will your partner feel more loved, but you’ll enjoy the feeling of knowing your efforts are making a meaningful impact.  Fill your own cup first It might surprise you to see that taking care of yourself is on a list of ways to impact on your relationship.  Here’s the thing… I could easily have put this point first.  You can’t pour from an empty jug. You can’t offer what you don’t have to give.  If you’re always giving and you’re not making time to take care of your own needs, resentment for your partner will soon build. And that can become toxic.  Self-care mustn’t be an afterthought either. It’s a priority. Make quality time in your schedule to do the things you love. PLUS, do them without feeling selfish [because it’s not].  Your self-care time is like putting gas into a car. It’s the fuel that energizes and revitalizes, so you’re in a position to give 100% to your relationship.  You’ll find a ton of self-care ideas as well as tips for scheduling quality time into your schedule HERE.  Which of these will you commit to doing? Make an impact and deepen your love Thriving relationships are one of the most rewarding things we get to cultivate.  Moving through life and sharing time with someone you love is THE most beautiful thing.  You deserve to have THE most incredible relationship possible. So use these strategies to make an impact on your partner.  And in the process, enjoy how these shifts make an impact on you too as. That’s the beautiful thing about relationships… they also draw out your best self. 

"You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want" — Zig Ziglar You could say that the quality of your relationships equals the quality of your life. There’s only so far you can go by yourself. In order to achieve your full potential and create a deeply fulfilling life, you need the right people in our corner. From love and support to companionship and problem-solving, your relationships can empower and inspire you every day.  There’s a super simple way to cultivate relationships that bring out your best.  All you’ve got to do is use conversations as a catalyst. And when you’re talking, remember to use the three levels of listening.  Let me explain... Level 1 - Internal listening  The majority of conversations tend to remain at level #1. This is the most superficial form of listening where we listen to speak. Internal listening happens when you interpret what you hear in relation to what the words mean to you. For example, if someone is talking about a vacation, you’d start thinking about your own vacations and your own experiences. Then, when you get a chance, you start sharing your story with the other person.  Alternatively, if someone was sharing about their latest diet, you’d apply your own judgements and assumptions based on your own experiences of dieting.  There’s nothing wrong with this type of listening, but be aware that your internal dialogue is running the show here. You might have heard what the other person said, but that doesn’t mean you understand where they are at.   Level 2- Listening to understand  “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”— Dale Carnegie Level #2 listening happens when you turn down your inner dialogue and focus fully on what the other person is saying. Instead of being distracted by your own stuff, you listen intently so you better understand what another person wants to say.  This level of listening goes beyond hearing alone. By observing the speaker’s tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions as well as the words, you can better understand what they mean.  As the listener, you demonstrate your understanding by paraphrasing what you hear, making eye contact, mirroring body language, and responding with appropriate nods and affirmatives.  Level 2 conversations are more satisfying from a listener’s perspective because they feel properly seen and heard.  It’s a practice that can take your relationships to the next level.  Level 3 - Global listening  “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”– Carl Jung Level 3 listening includes everything that happens at level 2 with the addition of intuition.  Have you ever been deep in a conversation with someone only to have a hunch about what they’re leaving unsaid or a strange need to ask a particular question?  If so, that’s global listening - where you’re able to take the context of the conversation and the environment into account to dig deeper and uncover what’s really going on. This level of listening takes conversations [and therefore your relationships] to deeper levels. That’s because intuition opens doors that nobody even knew existed - until intuition opened them. In turn, your conversations are more satisfying because you end up talking about the meaty stuff that usually stays buried and hidden.  We all want to be seen and heard for who we really are. “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” – Ernest Hemingway Talking can come easy!  After all, there’s always something to talk about - from the weather to sport, to where you’re taking your next vacation.  Small talk topics are great at getting a conversation started, but can you ever really know someone properly if you stick with these ‘safe’ surface-level topics?  Bringing higher-level listening skills to social interactions will transform what you get out of the conversations you have. Instead of making a contact, you can make a friend. Instead of adding a number to your phone, you can make an ally. Instead of boring small talk, you can come away inspired by someone else’s life and insights.  So go that extra mile.  Become aware of when you’re listening to talk.  Then take a pause and see what happens when you shift from level 1 listening into level 2 and even level 3. Make a decision to truly understand who the other person is and what they want to say and enjoy how your relationships deepen as a result. You’ve got this!