Life feels better when we live it with people we love.  This is because it’s in our togetherness that we create the memories that last.  The moments spent laughing so hard that your belly aches! The beautiful tears that roll as you support each other through the pain. The intimate conversations that keep you up all night long.  These are the moments that we remember. Moments that touch us so profoundly they often change us. No wonder connection is one of the most beautiful energies we can cultivate in our lives.  Brene Brown defines connection as “the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.” How do we create this energy in practice? This checklist is here to help. 1. Lead with vulnerability.  At an intuitive level, we want to fit in and belong. This ancient coding stretches back to the days when our ancestors needed to be inside the tribe to survive. If you became an outcast, your survival was at risk.  The challenge is our ancient brain still holds this fear. It’s why we can wear a social mask or hide the parts of ourselves that feel ‘too much’. But when we’re always holding something back, it’s harder for people to know us.  Vulnerability is a willingness to be more exposed with your truth. It’s a desire to show who you really are. Vulnerability can be a superpower, because when you lead by example, you permit others to take more visibility risks themselves.  In turn, our connections can deepen because instead of connecting on superficial grounds, we get to connect through our hearts.  2. Break the ice.  Meeting someone for the first time can feel awkward - especially if conversations aren’t a key strength! The trick is to find common ground. People like people who are like themselves! As soon as you find something that resonates, the conversation [and therefore connection] builds momentum.  It helps to have some icebreaker questions in your back pocket.  “What do you do?” is a little too cliched! Also, because people often equate ‘doing’ to their work, it can spark an uncomfortable conversation if this isn’t a topic someone wants to explore.  Asking about someone’s passions or hobbies can be a better way to kick-start a conversation. And if you want an entire deck of icebreakers, you’ll love this tool!  3. Then ask deeper questions. Most conversations are surface level. We dance within our comfort zones and what doesn’t scratch the edges too much.  Deep-dive conversations can be uncomfortable. It requires vulnerability. It demands that you explore topics, memories, thoughts, and ideas that you may not have fully processed yourself or ignite a fear of judgement if you were to share them with others.  However, on the other side lies the possibility of a deeper connection.  When you share the depths of who you are, you give yourself a chance to be fully seen, heard, and valued. When someone knows what’s under the surface, you instinctively cultivate a deeper sense of understanding, compassion, respect - and even love.  For sure, you want to feel safe in a deeper conversation, and it’s crucial you cultivate a level of trust with someone before you go there. But when you find the people to whom you’re willing to bear your all, the connection that follows is exquisite.  For deeper dive conversations, we love the Deeper Talk Deck. 4. Hold space Your head can only hold so much insight at one time. That’s why space holding is a little piece of magic. When you create and hold space, you create a receptive void, and that void is ripe to be filled with thoughts and feelings.  Sharing who we are is a beautiful thing.  And the ability to hold space takes the resulting connection to new depths.  We’ve all had experiences of talking with someone who’s only listening so they can figure out what they’re going to say next.  It’s why we know the difference when someone is genuinely interested in what we have to say.  Knowing someone is interested permits you to share even more. As a result, the thoughts in your mind unravel as you speak them out. It’s how conversations can create clarity, new ideas, and closure - as well as deeper connections.  5. Practice the three levels of listening.  Level 1 is internal listening. This is when you interpret what you hear in relation to what the words mean for you.  Level 2 is listening to understand. At this level, we’re less distracted by our own stuff and more interested in what the other person is communicating.  Level 3 is global listening. This type of listening takes level 2 to new depths by weaving in intuition. If you’ve ever had a hunch that someone is leaving something unsaid and you raise that, you’ve been listening at level 3.  When we cultivate the skill to dance between the three types of listening, we get to hear the people we love at a deeper level. In turn, your connections strengthen.  6. Be authentic.  Every human has instinct and intuition. It means we can often feel when something is off.  Authenticity helps build trust in your relationships. It allows someone to trust you, instead of doubting you.  Real talk - where you strip away the fakery and say it as it is can be such a relief! In our social age, we’re bombarded with other people's social highlights, and it can be hard to know what’s real and what’s shared to create a particular impression.  Authenticity helps us sink into what’s real.  And that deepens our connections exponentially.  Brene Brown also said that “connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”  We can often shy away from connection because it means we have to reveal who we really are.  But without it, we feel a sense of loneliness, isolation, and separation.  The ability to spark connections with others is a skill we can master. I hope the suggestions in this checklist empower you to feel closer to the people you meet in your life. Conversation Decks For Sparking Deeper Connections 

Do you have a hard time keeping in touch with people? Perhaps time has passed by and you’re unsure whether you should reach out again. Perhaps you drifted apart because one of you moved away, or a global pandemic shifted the dynamic of the friendship and prevented you from spending time together in person.  It can be tough to see someone who you grew up with and shared your secrets, slowly become a stranger. Sometimes, people are only meant to be in your life for a season. Other times, the friendship requires a little more effort to get back on track.  “You don't lose friends, because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends, and you're better for it.” - Mandy Hale  Here’s the good news - it’s not too late, and you’re not alone. Studies have shown that beyond the age of 25, most people tend to start narrowing down their friendship group, with women losing them at a faster rate than men. Mending a broken friendship can be challenging, but it can be very rewarding. The trick is intentionality in resolving those neglected friendships.  Keep reading to find ways to rekindle a broken or drifting friendship...  First, prioritize yourself. Before we even begin, it’s important to establish that all external relationships first begin with a healthy level of self-awareness, and putting yourself first. If you are prone to giving more than receiving, ask yourself - is this a friendship worth pursuing in the first place? Are you always the one initiating conversations and meetups? Why do you think the drift occurred? Was it due to circumstances out of your control, or did the relationship feel one-sided? Maybe even exhausting? Think back to how you felt when you were with that person. If this is a friendship that you deem worth salvaging, keep reading.  Remember the details and stay curious  Think back to the last time someone reached out to you out of the blue. Was it because they needed a favour from you, or because they genuinely wanted to catch up because they valued you as a person? Chances are, the latter group are the ones you want to rekindle a connection with.  The questions you ask someone that you’ve had a falling out with is a little different from those you are getting to know for the first time. To shift beyond the “How have you been?”, you could get the conversation started by leading with something you already know about them. For example, you could:  • Mention something that reminded you of them, and reminisce about a fun memory you had together • Check back in on the most recent topic of conversation you can remember • Be honest and acknowledge that it’s been a while, but remain curious and understand that people change over time Above all, listen intently with the purpose of understanding with a deeper level of intuition.  Lead into self-disclosure Conversation is not a one-way street, and re-building a connection takes time and vulnerability on both ends. “Self-disclosure” is a term in psychology that refers to “a process of communication by which one person reveals information about himself or herself to another.” By opening up to someone by sharing something closer to your heart, you are showing vulnerability which can help foster that lost emotional connection.  Once you move past the initial small talk phase, you can try asking some prompts from the Icebreaker Deck or the Deeper Talk Deck to inspire you with further conversation topics.  Rekindling an old or broken friendship can be an incredible feeling, but don’t feel too discouraged if things aren’t exactly the way they used to be. The disappointment of drifting apart from someone who used to be very close can often feel like losing a part of yourself, but you may be surprised at what might happen when you take the chance!

For many of us, change is a paradox. We want it, but also we don’t!  On the one hand, we resist change because it’s so uncomfortable! Change requires us to get out of our comfort zone and do something different. But sometimes, change is non-negotiable - especially when you reach a point in your life where the status quo no longer satisfies. Whether it’s your health, your finances, your career, your relationships - even external circumstances - you feel called to do something different.  This creates a tipping point.  When the pain of things staying as they are exceeds the pain of creating something different, change happens.  But did you know that you can impact the pace at which change happens with the conversations you have? Keep reading to discover FOUR proven techniques that will help you spark conversations for change in all areas of your life.  Start with yourself  The most important conversations you have are the ones you conduct with yourself - and this takes a commitment to inner work.  Studies say that around 95% of the brain’s activity is subconscious. In short, our default thinking and responses happen on autopilot in reaction to our ingrained habits and belief systems.  If you’re unaware of your instinctive behaviors and thoughts, it’s harder to know who you are and what you want.  Journaling can help you discover the truth of who you are. Through the safety and privacy of your journal, you can: • Explore your thoughts and feelings• Challenge your preconceptions and work through your blocks and triggers • Get clearer on what you really want and what you stand for In turn, when you do have important conversations, you can come at them from a place of self-awareness. You’ll have more confidence too because you’ll be able to express your thoughts and feelings to other people with more clarity and conviction.  And that certainty can help inspire other people to believe in the change you want to see.   Active listening Most people listen to speak, NOT to understand.  There’s a big difference.  If you only listen to speak, you’ll miss out on the nuances of the conversation. You’ll overlook important body language clues and facial expressions too - all of which could give you a more in-depth insight into how the other person is thinking and feeling.  In the absence of active listening, you also subconsciously communicate to the other person that you’re not overly interested in what they have to say - which could cause them to shut down and hold back.  Active listening can open doors because it makes people feel seen and heard. You practice active listening when you concentrate fully on the other person. You make eye contact, ask clarifying conversations to ensure you understand, reflect what you hear, and avoid getting distracted.  Master active listening, and you’ll create space where the conversations that matter can really go somewhere.  Deep conversation How often do we settle for surface-level chitchat when talking with another person?  It’s tempting to stick with those comfortable, easy topics that don’t push any buttons, but it’s not necessarily the right thing to do.  As people, we are deep.  Each of us is a rich plethora of experiences, insights, and passions - and meaningful, purposeful conversations allow us to get to know each other better.  In-depth conversations are a great way to uncover someone else’s objections and fears. Digging below the surface can help you better understand someone else’s motivations and behaviors too.  And all this knowledge will empower you to spark conversations that matter.  So take a risk!  Ask questions that dig below the surface - and see how much more connected you feel as a result.  Be willing to be vulnerable Conversations can feel exposing - especially when we’re sharing something controversial or talking about topics and issues that feel uncomfortable.  As social beings, we have an inherent need to feel included. This is why the fear of rejection, judgement, and criticism can cause us to hold back from what our heart wants to say.  Conversions for change DO take courage.  You have to be willing to be vulnerable and step out of your comfort zone. You’ll want to speak your truth - even if it feels confronting.  So let your guard down. Take a chance [this becomes easier once you’ve done the inner work outlined in point #1]. Speak your truth and share from your heart.  Allow your emotions to infuse your words and be real. As Maya Angelou said, “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.”  As well as recruiting support for your vision, conversations are an incredible way to resolve issues, get clarity, and identify your best next steps.  In this way, conversations have the power to change who we are, what we think, what we do, and what other people do.  So let’s get talking 💕 Let’s talk - even when it feels uncomfortable.  Let’s share - even when it makes you feel scared.  Let’s go deeper - even though it’s vulnerable.  Because when we talk, empathy and compassion increases.  Understanding rises.  And positive change can emerge. Discover Conversation Tools    

Jim Rohn famously said that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” And you can understand why. The people you around undoubtedly influence your values, your beliefs, and what you choose to spend your time doing. These are also the people most likely to hold you to account, provide support, and encourage you towards your goals. In short, if you’re around people who inspire you to dig deeper and discover more, chances are you’ll grow faster than you would around people who subconsciously hold you back. Maybe this is why it’s said that your network equals your net worth. So if your social circle is an indicator of your success, it follows that your relationship-building skills can give you an edge. In short, if you can communicate with anyone and cultivate rapport with the right people, you’ll be able to accelerate your best self path. And not just in terms of your goals. Good communication skills will influence all areas of your life - from your intimate relationships, to your hobbies, finances, business, career, and friendships. Which begs the question - how can you talk with anyone? How can you strike up meaningful discussion and proactively build the type of connections that can transform your life? Here are seven techniques to try. 1. Ask open-ended questions Good conversation doesn’t feel stilted. Instead, it flows effortlessly as the people involved feel comfortable sharing and talking. Open-ended questions are a must if you want to create this kind of experience. These are questions that often begin with the words how, what, and why. For example: • How did you end up doing the work you do now?• What’s your biggest achievement to date?• Why do you care about this? Open-ended questions invite lengthier responses. They also give people the space to explore their answers and share their stories. This is in comparison to closed-questions that simply require a YES or NO answer. Ask questions that invite people to open up and share more of who they are, and see where the conversation leads. You’ll likely be surprised at what you discover. 2. Make eye contact There’s something about the human eye… they even say it’s the doorway to the soul! Perhaps that’s why eye contact can feel difficult. When you look at someone in the eyes, you really see someone [and they feel seen in return]. That level of connection can feel uncomfortable. But it also shows that you’re listening. Make good eye contact and you subtly communicate to the person ou’re speaking with that you’re interested in what they have to say. That you’re giving that person your attention. That you’re not simply paying lip-service to the conversation, but you’re genuinely engaged. In this way, eye contact can strengthen your connection together and help take the conversation further than it might otherwise have gone. 3. Listen to understand, not to speak! When you speak to other people, are you listening to understand… Or are you listening to speak? The approach you take will have a big impact on the connection you build and how much the other person is willing to share with you. Here’s why… Someone who’s listening to speak won’t be so interested in what the other person has to say. Instead, they’ll be looking out for their opportunity to say what they think and what happened to them. In turn, they’ll protect their own life and experiences onto the stories being shared and as a result, may misinterpret some of the information or overlook key details that could have been explored further. They’ll also see pauses as an opportunity to speak - not as a reflection point for the other person. If you listen to speak, don’t be surprised if the person you’re speaking with doesn’t feel truly seen and eventually shuts down. But speak to understand, and you change the dynamics. Instead of rushing to share your own experiences, you reflect back what you’ve heard. You ask questions to deepen your understanding. You make confirmations that show you’re truly listening. When you’re listening to understand, you also become more aware of the non-verbal signals too. You become much more astute at detecting what isn’t being said. This leads to a much deeper understanding of the person you’re spending time with. Show up for other people in this way, and notice how people are willing to trust you more. You’ll also find they may be willing to share a lot more with you too. 4. Have a great conversation opener in your pocket How do you kick-start a meaningful conversation with someone? For many people, the default is “what do you do?” This feels safe enough and it invites people to talk about their work, but does it really help you get to know someone? Or are you simply falling into the trap of defining someone by what they do? Years ago I read a book about conversation that made me question this conversation starter. It suggested that I swapped “what do you do?” with “what do you spend most of your time doing?” It’s a subtle difference, that transforms the conversation you get into. That’s because “what do you spend most of your time doing?” gives someone the space to talk about their hobbies and their passions. This question also doesn’t create an awkward standstill if someone doesn’t have a job! Other questions to explore include, “What makes your heart sing?” or “What’s your favorite thing to do in your spare time?” Have a think about your go-to first question. How could you tweak it to set a better tone and direction for the conversation that follows? 5. Share your stories too Good conversation finds the balance between active listening and proactive sharing. If you’re asking meaningful questions that invite people to share more of who they are, then you have to be willing to go there too! If you hold back, then the conversation isn’t balanced and this can impact the level of trust you feel between you. So make sure you give of yourself. Share your stories and your experiences. Be prepared to be vulnerable [if the situation creates this opportunity]. Sharing your rawness and realness is one of the quickest way to deepen your connection and build friendships and bonds that make your life all the better for having them. 6. Move beyond small talk into something more meaningful What happens when you’re in a room with people you don’t know? Where small talk breaks the ice, it won’t helps you cultivate the type of relationships that might actually go somewhere. That’s because small talk keeps conversation at those safe, surface level topics. You know the kind… where you talk about the weather or the performance of your favorite sporting hero! These types of conversations may help pass the time or help you feel more comfortable in new social settings. But stick to the surface and you’ll never get to know the person you’re speaking with. If you truly want to get to know someone, you need to find out how they think. What motivates and inspires them? What do they care about? What are their dreams and struggles? Talk about something deeper and you can build connections that feel more meaningful and therefore last somewhere. 7. Ask better questions The quality of the questions you ask is going to determine the quality of conversation you have. Ask better questions and you’ll have better conversations - it’s as simple as that. It’s surprising how limited we can be in our chats with other people - both strangers and those we love. It’s easy to stay in our comfort zones and as a result, we build artificial limits around the topics to talk about. In turn, we never explore the wide range of topics that could transform how we share ourselves and how we can feel closer to others. It’s why we created the Icebreaker Deck. This pack of 150 prompt cards gives you a stack of interesting topics to talk about with strangers and with the people you [think you] know the most. Memorize some of these questions so you’re ready to use them at a party, a business event, or even in the line while you’re waiting for your coffee. Alternatively, use them as a game when you’re at home or with friends and family. Simply pull out a card, ask the question, and enjoy learning more about the people close to you. The Icebreaker Deck sparks your curiosity. It provides you with the fuel you need to figure out what makes people tick. It gives you the questions that allow you to discuss emotions, explore thought processes, and talk about your dreams, desires, learning opportunities, and motivations. It’s the tool to keep on your desk and weave into your everyday life so that you can start the conversations that might actually go somewhere. Because the quality of the relationships you build are going to have a profound impact on your life. Build deeper, more meaningful, stronger connections - in all areas of your life, and you’ll get more out of life. Because ultimately, life is all about relationships. Get Your Icebreaker Deck          Some people are naturally good in social settings and conversations. They naturally thrive around people, effortlessly put others at ease, and are skilled at creating the space for connection. Other people find the conversation more tricky. But the good news is, conversation skills can be learned and mastered. And these seven tips plus the Icebreaker Deck will help you talk with anyone. So figure out your plan, invest in your communication skills, and watch how you’re able to influence your ‘five people’ so you can live your best life.