Would You Talk to Your Kid This Way?
I used to think building a business was my biggest personal growth challenge. Then I had my daughter.
Nothing prepares you for watching a tiny version of yourself navigate the world. The other day, I caught myself telling her "It's okay to make mistakes, that's how we learn!" Then, an hour later, I was internally berating myself for a small error in a presentation. The disconnect was jarring.
Here's the thing that keeps me up at night: If I talked to my daughter the way I sometimes talk to myself, it would traumatize her. Yet somehow, I've normalized this harsh internal dialogue with myself. And I'm not alone—when I shared this revelation with our community, the response was overwhelming. The hardest relationship to nurture isn't with our kids, partners, or friends—it's with ourselves.
So how do we break this pattern? How do we start treating ourselves with the same compassion we naturally offer others? I've found that the simplest approaches work best. Here's the framework I use:
The Self-Trust Triangle: A 5-Minute Framework
1️⃣ Listen Like You're Talking to Your Child (or your best friend):
Instead of pushing through, pause and ask yourself what you'd say to someone you cherish:
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What do you need right now?
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What's your energy level telling you?
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What would feel supportive?
2️⃣ Honor Your Needs (like you'd honor theirs):
Just as you'd move mountains to meet your child's needs, take one small action to honor what you heard:
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If you're tired, give yourself permission for that 10-minute rest
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If you're overwhelmed, break down the task into smaller steps
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If you need help, ask for it (yes, really—you'd want your loved ones to do the same)
3️⃣ Celebrate Growth (the way you'd celebrate theirs):
Remember how you light up when your child or friend takes a brave step forward? Bring that same energy to your own progress:
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Did you set a boundary today? That's growth
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Did you pause before saying "yes" to another commitment? That's wisdom
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Did you ask for help instead of struggling alone? That's strength
Quick Win:
Right now—yes, as you're reading this [NAME]—notice your inner dialogue. Are you thinking "I should be working" or "I'll read this later"? Catch that thought and ask: Would I say this to someone I love who's taking a moment to learn something important about themselves?
That's all. Just notice and shift your tone once. You've already started practicing self-trust.
🤔 Reflection Prompt:
"What would change in your day if you treated yourself with the same kindness you offer your best friend?"
Weekly Picks:
📚 Reading Corner:
"The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)" by Philippa Perry This isn't your typical parenting book—it's a profound look at how our own upbringing shapes our inner voice. Perry shows how the way we talk to ourselves directly impacts how we relate to others, especially our children.
🔍 Cool Find: Unfiltered.Page
I'm excited to share a tool I created from my own need: Unfiltered.Page is a distraction-free writing space that encourages raw, honest self-expression. Set a timer, pour out your thoughts without editing, and discover what's really on your mind.
I've been doing this practice for years to cut through mental noise and gain clarity—sometimes revealing thoughts I didn't even know I had!
I built this simple tool while practicing my coding skills—something I've been learning lately. It's the first of several micro-tools I plan to create for myself and share with our community. My goal is to build practical solutions that help us nurture better relationships with ourselves and others.
Here's to breaking old patterns and building new ones—starting today 💪
Cheers,
Cathryn
P.S. Ready to go deeper? I've gathered my most powerful journaling prompts into a 30-day guided journey toward self-trust. Get the Self-Trust Prompts PDF here
P.P.S. After you try the Self-Trust Timer, reply and let me know what other tools would help you practice self-trust in your daily life. I'm building these for you (and me!)
