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6 Research-Backed Tricks to Build Instant Rapport With Anyone

7-minute read on the science of connection

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1. Mirror (Subtly) What They Do

Nonverbal mimicry—lightly matching posture or gestures—increases perceived connection (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999). Keep it natural: a nod when they nod, leaning in slightly as they do.

2. Use Their Name Early

Hearing our own name sparks identity-related brain activation; people respond more warmly when their name is used naturally (Kawakami & Yoshida, 2017). Sprinkle, don’t overdo.

3. Match Their Emotional Tone

We unconsciously sync moods—a process called emotional contagion (Hatfield et al., 1994). If they’re excited, meet their energy; if reflective, slow your pace. People feel understood when energy aligns.

4. Ask Questions That Invite Stories

Instead of “Do you like your job?”, try “What’s the most surprising part of your job lately?” Storytelling builds rapport by engaging shared attention networks and trust hormones (Zak, 2015).

5. Share a Small Vulnerability

Revealing something human—“I get stage fright every time I present”—signals trust and invites reciprocation. Meta-analyses show appropriate self-disclosure accelerates closeness (Collins & Miller, 1994).

6. End on a Forward Thread

Don’t let the conversation fade. Leave an open loop: “Send me that playlist?” or “Let’s swap notes next week.” Anticipated future interaction increases liking and continuity of connection (Kashy & Kenny, 1990).

Icebreaker Deck

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