My 3-year-old learned this faster than me

An engineer was given a "backwards bicycle" where turning the handlebars left made the wheel go right. Simple concept. He knew the trick. Should take five minutes to master, right?

Eight months. It took him eight months of daily practice.

His 6-year-old son? Two weeks.

My 3-year-old daughter? She learned to ride her balance bike in 2 days while I've been trying to break my morning phone habit for 847 days. There's a reason she's faster, and it's about to change how you think about every habit you have.

The experiment I'm talking about was done by Destin Sandlin, and it reveals something profound: Sometimes our expertise is our biggest liability.

Here's where it gets wild: Once Destin finally mastered the backwards bike, he temporarily couldn't ride a normal bike. His brain had completely rewired itself, and the old pattern was gone.

The Curse of Competence

We spend years becoming "good" at things. Good at responding instantly. Good at being available. Good at saying yes.

These patterns become so hardwired that we don't even recognize them as choices anymore. They're just... how we operate.

My morning phone habit? It's not really about the phone. It's about 15 years of training myself that being responsive = being valuable. That availability = importance.

No wonder it's taking me longer to unlearn than it took to build my entire business.

The Hidden Cost of "Always Done It This Way"

Research from University College London shows it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit. But here's what they don't tell you: It can take 3x longer to break an old one, especially if that habit is tied to your identity or sense of competence.

Think about it:

• The manager who can't delegate because they've always been the "reliable one"

• The parent who can't rest because they've always been the "everything's under control" person

• The friend who can't say no because they've always been the "helpful one"

• The entrepreneur who can't slow down because they've always been the "hustle harder" person

We're all riding our own backwards bicycles, trying to steer left while our hands automatically go right.

My Backwards Bicycle Breakthrough

Here's the embarrassing truth: I tried everything to break my morning phone habit. App timers (I'd override them). Leaving my phone in another room (I'd go get it). Willpower (LOL).

The research is sobering: we pick up our phones 96 times per day. That's once every 10 minutes, stealing 3.5 hours daily. For someone with ADHD like me? Double those numbers.

Nothing worked until I created a physical barrier I couldn't override with a half-awake brain. Now my phone lives in Helm's focus mode overnight, and I literally cannot access social media, email, or Slack until I physically walk to my office and tap my phone to the device.

That physical action of getting up, walking to my office, making the conscious choice to tap that's what finally broke the pattern. It wasn't about willpower. It was about designing a system that worked with my brain, not against it.

Why Kids Have It Easier

My daughter doesn't check a phone before breakfast because, well, she's three and doesn't have one. But more importantly, she's never learned that pattern of reaching for a device first thing. She doesn't overthink whether she's "good enough" because she hasn't collected decades of evidence about what she "should" be good at.

She just gets on the bike and rides.

The backwards bicycle proves our brains can still rewire at any age. It just takes:

1. Patience with the process (8 months, not 8 minutes)

2. Daily practice (consistency over intensity)

3. Creating systems, not relying on willpower

Wednesday Challenge: The Unlearning Audit (15 mins)

As we approach July's mid-year check-in, let's identify what needs unlearning:

1. Name your backwards bicycle (5 mins) 

What's one "expert" behavior that's no longer serving you? For me, it was checking my phone before my feet hit the floor. For you, it might be saying yes to every request, working through lunch, or apologizing before speaking.

2. Track the pattern (5 mins) 

For the next 24 hours, put a tally mark every time you do this behavior. I did this with my phone reaches and hit 23 before noon. The awareness alone started changing my behavior.

3. Design your system (5 mins) 

What physical or environmental change could make the old pattern harder? Examples:

• Phone charger moved to kitchen (not bedside)

• Automatic reply on email after 6pm

• Shoes by the door for that walk you keep skipping

• Password-protected streaming apps during work hours

Remember: You're not failing because it's hard. It's hard because you're successfully fighting years of neural pathways. Every wobble is progress.

Weekly Picks

📚 Reading Corner: The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle - His research on "productive failure" changed how I approach learning.

🔍 Cool Find: The Backwards Bicycle Video - Watch the actual 8-month journey (8 minutes)

Breaking Phone Habits Before Summer Swallows Us Whole

We all judge "iPad kids" while clutching our phones like emotional support animals. I'm calling myself out here. I created a travel iPad that my daughter thinks only works on airplanes, meanwhile I'm checking Instagram while she's showing me her drawings.

Here's what stopped me cold: We only get 936 weekends with our kids before they turn 18. Just 18 summers. My daughter is 3, which means I've already used up 156 of those weekends. I have 780 left.

780 weekends. That's it.

With summer here and kids home more, every moment matters even more. When we're working, let's actually work. When we're with our kids (or just trying to be present in our own lives), let's not let our phones steal those irreplaceable moments.

That's why I finally designed a physical solution to this digital problem. And here's the thing: We're closing pre-orders for Helm this Friday. We have just 67 devices left from our initial batch.

Everyone who pre-orders gets free access to our Dopamine Detox Challenge (normally $47), where I'll be doing the exact same daily challenges alongside you. Because unlearning is easier together.

After we ship to our initial pre-order community, we'll likely reopen orders sometime in July, but I can't guarantee when or at what price.

If you've been thinking about creating real boundaries between you and your phone, especially with summer here, this is your moment.

Here's to unlearning our way to something better.

Cheers, Cathryn

P.S. What's your backwards bicycle? Reply and tell me. Last week, Sarah from Denver shared how she broke her 2am anxiety scroll habit by leaving her phone in her car overnight. Extreme? Maybe. Working? Absolutely. Your story might be exactly what another reader needs to hear!