Happy New Year! Are Your 2025 Goals Actually Yours?
Happy New Year! Here’s a common trap in goal-setting: we often choose goals that sound impressive to others, rather than ones that genuinely resonate with us.
As a recovering people-pleaser, I know this pattern well. I spent years pursuing external markers of success – hitting revenue targets, speaking at events, checking all the conventional boxes. Each achievement, including selling my business, brought a fleeting sense of accomplishment mixed with a persistent "what's next?" anxiety.
The plot twist? I bought BestSelf back less than two years later, realizing the dream I'd chased wasn't entirely my own. (Nothing quite says "authenticity journey" like re-buying your own company!)
A recent entrepreneur retreat provided another moment of clarity. We were asked to share a significant goal. I had an impressive-sounding one ready. But as I waited my turn, I realized it wasn't my goal; it was what I thought I should want. My true desire was simpler, yet scarier to admit: I wanted the space to figure out what I genuinely wanted, free from external expectations.
The most potent goals aren't the ones that look good on social media; they're the ones that ignite genuine excitement and pull you forward each day.
🤔 Reflection Prompt
Think about a time you achieved something that looked impressive externally but felt hollow internally. What crucial element was missing for you? What would have made that achievement truly meaningful and fulfilling?
The Authenticity Check (20 Minutes)
Ready to cut through the noise and connect with your authentic goals? Try this exercise:
1. Heart-Centered Reflection (7 mins):
- What activities make you lose all track of time?
- When do you feel most energized, alive, and authentically yourself?
- What pursuits would you engage in even if no one else ever knew?
2. True North Check (7 mins):
- List your current goals for 2025.
- For each goal, ask yourself honestly: "If I couldn't tell anyone about achieving this, would I still pursue it with the same passion?"
- Be rigorous. Circle only the goals that elicit an immediate, internal "yes."
3. Alignment Integration (6 mins):
- On one side of a page, list your core personal values (e.g., creativity, connection, freedom, growth).
- On the other side, list the goals you circled in the previous step.
- Draw lines connecting each goal to the core value(s) it supports.
- Reflect: Does any circled goal lack a clear connection to your values? This is an invitation for deeper reflection on its true importance to you.
The Airplane Mode Test
Dedicate 30 minutes this week to disconnect completely. Turn off your phone (or put it in airplane mode) and sit with a blank page. Without the pressure of external validation, write down what truly excites and interests you. What ideas emerge when nobody's watching?
Resources for Authentic Living
📚 Read: "The Mountain Is You" by Brianna Wiest
This book offers profound insights into self-sabotage and the patterns of people-pleasing. Wiest explores why we sometimes chase goals that don't align with our true selves, often finding comfort in these "false dreams." It's an illuminating read for anyone seeking greater self-awareness.
🔍 Cool Find: Time Left
An intriguing concept on my radar for 2025: a service that matches six strangers for dinner based on a personality algorithm. The focus is purely on genuine connection, free from networking agendas. Sometimes, clarity emerges from conversations with those who have no preconceived notions about who we "should" be.
This year, let's prioritize authenticity over appearances. Focus on the goals and activities that genuinely matter to you, and observe how that clarity fuels meaningful progress.
Have a great start to the year,
Cathryn
