When was the last time you intentionally showed your partner how much you appreciate them?
It’s not a trick question!
But the reality is we can take our partner for granted - and it’s not your fault. Life does get busy and chaotic. When you have a million and one things to take care of, you can become so tunnel-visioned you forget to appreciate what’s right in front of your eyes!
But showing your partner appreciation is vital to any relationship.
And you don’t need an anniversary or specific dates on the calendar to do it.
There are ways to show appreciation for your partner every day.
Keep reading to discover ten ideas now…
1. Notice the little things
A deep human need is to be seen and heard for who we really are. There’s something about being fully seen that makes you feel fully loved.
You can give this gift to your partner by noticing the little things.
For example, make a mental note of the things that interest your partner. Make it a habit to notice the little things they bring up casually. It could be a side comment about their favorite flower— or a favorite artist they’ve mentioned a few times. Keeping these in mind seems insignificant in the big scheme of things, but your partner will love that you noticed and remembered.
2. Talk in your partner’s love language
Knowing your partner is one thing, but knowing how to love them is even more critical.
According to Dr Gary Chapman, the five love languages are:1. Words of affirmation 2. Gifts 3. Quality time 4. Acts of service 5. Physical touch
When you know which language or language(s) your partner prefers— you can love your partner in the way that they can receive it.
Say your partner’s first language is physical touch. You can demonstrate your love by hugging them when they come home, holding their hand when you’re on a walk, or snuggling together on the sofa while watching Netflix.
Maybe your partner prefers words of affirmation. If so, write love letters, send text messages, or leave handwritten notes. Use words to tell them how much you appreciate them.
If your preferred love languages are different from your partner’s— that’s okay too!
Expand your ideas. Think of ways outside the box to show your appreciation now that you have this knowledge.
3. Give them your full attention
Giving someone your undivided attention is a potent way to show your appreciation.
When you put down the distractions and commit to uninterrupted time with someone, you open the door for more meaningful connections.
When was the last time your partner received your full attention?
Unfortunately, our modern lives don’t always set us up for this. There are countless ways we get distracted. It's harder than ever to devote your attention to one thing. For example, there’s always a device nearby or other people who need us.
Maybe you have children and your time together is limited. Perhaps your schedules are difficult to align.
Set an intention to schedule quality, uninterrupted, quiet time together. When you show your partner “there’s nothing more important than you at this moment”, your love can grow.
4. Remember important dates
When you remember important dates, you signal to your partner that these things are important to you too. What’s more, these milestones are great opportunities to celebrate your life together.
For example, mark your first date or first kiss as well as your anniversaries and birthdays.
You don’t need to call in all the party tricks (but you can if you want!). Even sending a text while your partner is in the middle of work is a meaningful gesture.
Something like “Today is the day we met. I am so thankful you are in my life” can mean so much.
5. Compliment them in private & public
Who doesn’t love to receive compliments? Feeling seen for who you are and what you’ve done feels great - and this is a feeling you can give to your partner over and over.
For example, if your partner got a big promotion at work, tell them they’re a badass. If they’re the absolute best at folding shirts? Let them know! Are they rocking those jeans better than anyone else possibly could? Tell them.
And don’t reserve your compliments for private moments alone.
When you can praise your partner in public, you tell other people that you’re proud of who you’re with. There’s no need to make a big flashy announcement. You could tell friends at dinner how much you appreciate the way your partner supports you - or tell your kids how much you appreciate their mom/dad.
When you celebrate your partner out loud, they’ll feel seen, loved, appreciated, and proud.
We promise you'll get plenty of smiles out of this one.
6. Get creative with your gratitude
There are so many ways to express gratitude from sneaking little notes in their work bag to picking up flowers on your way home.
Random acts of gratitude let your partner know you were thinking of them throughout your day.
You don’t have to wait until there’s a disagreement to show gratitude, either. It’s important to do it frequently.
And remember those little things about your partner we told you to remember? You can now use that knowledge to get creative with gratitude.
Whether it be little gifts— or surprising them with concert tickets, showing gratitude goes a long way.
7. Acknowledge the things you’d usually take for granted
Maybe your partner’s ‘job’ is to take out the bin, pick up the groceries, or make the kids’ lunches. Sharing in chores to make the home run smoothly makes everybody’s life easier. Better still, when everyone takes on their fair share of tasks, it frees up more quality time to spend together.
But when ‘work’ is taken for granted, we run into the realm of expectations - and that doesn’t feel so good.
You don’t have to be gushing with your appreciation for the everyday chores - after all, someone has to take care of these tasks! But thanking your partner for the things they do makes them feel seen instead of taken for granted.
Better still, if they know it’s a job you hate, they get to enjoy knowing they made you happy as well as checking something off the shared to-do list.
8. Support your partner’s passions and dreams
Is there something your partner loves to do? Maybe they’re obsessed with football or skiing. Perhaps they love to trek into the mountains with buddies or invest in groups and programs to develop themselves.
Maybe they have big plans for travelling the world or dreams of living by the sea.
While it’s fun to have things in common, you don’t need to do everything together. It’s OK to have interests that mean you spend time apart. Your ‘things’ can strengthen your relationship - because you have more experiences to talk about when you are together.
Allowing space for your partner’s passions can bring you closer together.
After all, why should you give up part of who you are to be with someone you love?
9. Make your partner feel important
There’s something magical about the beginning of a relationship. You only have time for each other - nothing else in the world feels anywhere near as important as your new love.
They’re the only thing you think about and the only person you want to spend time with!
Over time, you find a new rhythm - and other areas of your life grow in importance. This doesn’t mean you love your partner any less… chances are you love them even more, but they’re no longer your sole focus of attention.
The good news is you can tap back into those early-stage vibes.
Taking a moment to make your partner feel like the most crucial thing in your life can add a beautiful spark into your relationship. Simply push everything else to one side and focus fully on them. It’s an act of appreciation that can deepen your love.
10. Make gratitude a habit
Life gets busy, meaning it’s easy to get distracted or overwhelmed to the point where you take your partner for granted.
One way to keep the gratitude alive in your relationship is to build a habit of appreciation.
This can be as simple as setting a reminder on your phone to send a message at lunchtime or making it a routine to share daily gratitudes over a coffee after work.
The Partner Appreciation Notes can help with this too. This 2-pack of pocket-sized notebooks contains space for 20 weeks of daily gratitude for your partner. Simply write down something you like about your partner to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. And with new prompts each week, you’ll never be at a loss of things to write about!
Best of all, after 20 weeks, you can gift your completed notebook to your partner. Imagine how they’ll feel when they get to read 20 weeks worth of love notes and appreciations about them :-)
When gratitude becomes a habit, it becomes a part of who you are.
And because gratitude trains your brain to see the good in your partner, not only will your love for each other grow, but you’ll find yourself feeling more optimistic and positive about life in general.
What can you appreciate about your partner today?
From big gestures to small, acts of appreciation are a powerful way to demonstrate and prove your love for your partner.
When we feel appreciated, we’re more likely to do the relationship work. When we feel valued, our love grows deeper, and our connection grows stronger. When we express our appreciation, our love speaks louder, and everything feels brighter as a result.
Show your partner how much you appreciate them today and every day.
It’s a simple, yet powerful pathway to a better relationship.